Titters of innuendo often accompany the quip that it was “cold enough to freeze the balls off a monkey”. Which is ridiculous. Firstly, it’s not particularly funny being cold and secondly, in this day and age surely everyone must know that the saying has nothing to do with ones nether regions?

Hoping to catch some balls mid drop

Actually the saying is actually “cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey”. And it involved cannonballs and brass frames for holding them in the days of square rigger (it’s a old fashioned sailing ship – Google is your friend) sea battles involving cannons. (*)

Fortunately though the day itself was not as f f f freezing and the riding pleasant enough. The scenery on the first day is so different to the usual Western Cape fare, and seeing I wasn’t racing “balls to the wall”, I could enjoy it! 

Ominously lush vegetationWhere water is meant to pool (If you look carefully at the floating bridges you should see four riders. One only evidenced by the splash!)

Now to the scenery. Or at least the flora part of it. Compared to the Western Cape it’s lush around these parts. Ominously lush. We already had a thunderstorm and downpour last night in Glencairn, but the real story of today is not one of cold but one of deluge. Kind of deluge that allows Giant ferns to flourish. And Bear Grylls to cower. 

The afternoon at MacKenzie Country Club passed pleasantly enough. Although the weather was very changeable. Sunshine and warm one minute, followed by cold spells. Jersey on, Jersey off. A portent of the night to come. 

During the night the terrors came in the shape of a storm that would have easily knocked those balls off a brass monkey. 

Captains log – 02h12. Raining so hard and for so long that the noise on the tent makes sleeping impossible. 

Captains log – 03h03. I am starting to wonder whether I am facing my third cancelled cycling event.

Captains log –  04h41. The rain continues unabated. Our vessel, tent #166 has had her water column capacity exceeded as the rain now weeps in through every seam on the fly sheet. We’re taking on water with sleeping bags, pillows and sheets now soaked and water logged.

Captains log – 04h55. I’m abandoning ship. Heading for the dining tent along with the rest of the field. 

Captains log – 04h57. The temps keep dropping, Umko is going to be mess and quite frankly, this is supposed to be fun, not ‘Man versus Wild’. Haven’t seen rain and temps like this since the cancellation of the last stage of W2W

Captains log – 05h26. Rumour in the rain refugee tent, I mean, mess tent, is that the entire stage has been neautralised. Jolivet apparently just as wet. I don’t see a single pro-rider risking their bodies or their bikes with that offer.

Captains log – 05h35. Astonishingly, it’s raining even harder now 😳 Guess that explains the lush vegetation

Captains log – 06h35. Race update. Shortened to 70km. Neutral all the way to Jolivet. New start time. 08h00. No batching. Leave at own discretion before 08h30. Riders must complete transition stage to qualify for a result. …do I really need another finishers medal? 🤔

3″ of rain – on the floor inside the mess tent

(*) Ok, ok – it’s just an (old fashioned) urban legend. There are origin and scientific issues with the saying. But it really was that cold last night! https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/explore/what-is-the-origin-of-the-term-brass-monkey