Eleven Wise Monkeys

Sunday saw the end of the three-day Tankwa Trek Mountain bike stage race. Speaking on my behalf, and I hope, Tony’s, we had a great time. Here is a list, in order of importance, what made the experience so good:

• A great riding partner with similar routines and riding strength
• No injuries (that we will own up to anyway)
• Kind weather that was not too hot or cold or windy for riding and didn’t rain while we were in the (not leak proof) tents
• New, exciting and challenging (but ride-able) routes.
• No mechanicals
• Great race village and laid back atmosphere

Made it to end of the final stage

I was listening to an interview with Chris Froome yesterday where he was discussing the Vuelta* 2014 which he entered after crashing out of The Tour**. One thing he said resonated with Tony and my experience at the Tankwa, “I knew I wasn’t at 100% fitness but I was determined to give a 100% of what I had.” It’s a cliché to say that when you get a bit fitter it doesn’t get any easier, you just go a bit faster, but it is spot on. Despite our points competition for the “unfittest team member” we turned out to be pretty similar in our fitness level and ended up riding as hard and as well as we could as a team. And it was brilliant!

But how did the last day unfold? Well, it started rather unusually with a 26km neutral zone which led us from Kaleo Manor through to “Craig’s farm” where we were reset for the start of the day’s racing. For the avoidance of doubt, yes, twenty six kilometres.

Bunch riding – big bunch!


The start heralded a 7km sprint for the start of a kilometre of smooth single track. After the rocky terrain of the previous two days the field was looking forward to the promised manicured single track (ST) on Craig’s farm. While Tony and I were still “consolidating” our position the front of the pack took off like the proverbial scalded cat.

A tight left handed into the first section of ST ended in tears for Rob Sims – one of the top Masters riders. He missed a narrow bridge and as we passed was he and his bike were still in the rather wide ditch. Reports were of a nasty injury to his knee. He ended up unable to continue.

We had no such problems!

It’s quite common for riders to vary in strength in different sections of the course. I, for example, am best on uphills and “roadie” sections, ok on twisty ST, not so great on high speed downhill ST and worst on high speed rough downhill ST. Others like the “fun” parts (viz scary) but struggle along the endurance biking bits. Sadly Tony is good on all of the above. Well, I say sadly from my perspective. It’s if course great for him! I need however to mention that I didn’t crash on this day. And that’s all I am saying.***

And so we wound our way through the spectacular scenery, along a ridge line that was pretty narrow and across a little district road to Heartbreak Hill. No prizes for guessing why this innocuous little climb is called heartbreak. Through some classic rock formation characteristic of the area and across the finish line.

Rocking the formations

Well done to Henco, René, Carel and all the Dryland crew who put on another class event.

And well done to the latest addition to the Wise Monkey family. Thanks for a great ride Tony Walker

Team Eleven Wise Monkeys

*The Vuelta is the three week long Spanish Grand Tour.

** The Tour is the three week long French Grand Tour.

*** Tony blames a stationary rider in an awkward spot for an awkward involuntary dismount.

The hardest leg of any race is usually known as the queen stage. And judging by the comments around the camp we were heading out to meet royalty this morning! Another fabulous days’ mountain biking with dramatic vistas over the Ceres valley at both ends – first when we descended down to the valley and later when we clawed our way up the 900m Merino* Monster.

Unfortunately the first descent was a really technical, steep switchbacked affair that required such focus that it was not possible to appreciate the view. Likewise the ascent was so steep and hard we were bent over the handlebars watching the sweat drip on the bike rather than enjoying the majestic setting. Sigh.

Our plan today, as every day, was to start out slowly and get even slower. It didn’t always work out that way, but today we dutifully dangled off the back of the start group.

Evidence that we took it easy. Sometimes anyway!

Nonetheless we acquitted ourselves well and finished again alongside Jane Seggie (remember – the doyen of mountain biking) in around 5h15m. We did however feel that the day had taken considerably more out of our legs than planned. Which is impressive considering we are both claiming to have very little in our legs in the first place. I think we placed around 35th of around 200 teams? Tony and I have not really paid much heed to the detail of this race. In fact we wondered if any other team knows as little about what’s going on as we do. With our focus firmly on the “who is the least fit” competition all else has receded into the background. If one wants to compete effectively one has to concentrate on the task at hand – going slower that your team mate!

Prior to the days stage, the camp chatter had all been about the Merino Monster. Rising 900m in just 6km it is a serious climb. However…. Very little was said about getting down from summit. Well – it was the longest single technical descent I think I have ever ridden down. It broke the hearts of all but the very competent – steep in many places and varying from rocky to very rocky, thin lines and awkward lines made for epic riding. It needs to be confirmed, but I am pretty sure it took more than 30 minutes to gratefully reach the road at the bottom. Many complained about aching arms, cramping hands and abused fear glands.

Shearing the sheep

Back at the race village we were welcomed by a festive Saturday atmosphere with supporters and locals all enjoying a fun day out. Kids in a sliding “jumping castle” splashing happily and adults queuing at the bar. Stalls selling food, sweets and even toys. Apparently this is an every Saturday affair here at Kaleo Manor. Apart from the exhausted riders that is!

Across the line in 5h15m

The coffee cart continues to do brisk business and so does the pub.

*Merino is a kind of sheep.

Stage One of the Tankwa Trek under belt. Fortunately, for a parting the country that experiences temperature extremes at both ends our weather has been relatively mild and kind to us riders.

So what’s with the title of this post? Patience …

Tony, meanwhile, has slipped behind in the points competition for the bottom step of the Least fit competition. Especially toward the end when riding with Jane Seggie. For those readers unfamiliar with Jane Seggie, I think “doyen of SA mountain biking” could be fairly ascribed. Anyway, I think any girl would probably have had the same affect. While I graciously hung back and let her continue ahead of us (read “wheel sucked”). Mr Walker on the other hand could not resist the testosterone rush and led us out at a furious pace. Well as much as we can given our lack of condition. Even so, poor Jane soon complained she was cramping after a hard day! So we backed off a bit and were privileged to ride to the line with a genuine SA MTB legend.

One of the major highlights of the stage was riding steeply down smooth rocks. What an unusual, and not a little terrifying experience (for me anyway). They were angled at 45 degrees – which is genuinely steep. At least, it felt like 45 degrees out there! Sliding off the back of the saddle, letting the bike tip alarmingly over the lip and braking just so to keep control, we descended slab after slab – some perhaps as much as 2.5m high which, seen from an already elevated vantage point on the bike looks pretty daunting. Happily though we dispatched these with what hopefully seemed like aplomb to those watching, probably hoping for some action.

I think they were steep anyway!

I can hardly believe I actually tackled these. Self congratulatory pat on the back.

There were also some other major technical challenges. Notably the descent off the ridge back to the Witzenberg valley floor. Steep, loose boulders, washed out edges and long it was quite a challenge for me. Not so much for Tony, who offered his slip for the descent, then slipped ahead and well put of view. Superb skills and surgically removed fear glands help I guess. Note for non cyclists – slipstreaming is useful at higher speeds, normally on smooth roads, but not at all down technical descents.

We were more fortunate.

We crossed the finish line (with Jane Seggie) in 4h32 which we felt happy with, given our podium (bottom) aspirations.

Back in the race village the coffee cart is doing brisk business. The showers have long queues and the beer is flowing. Happy riders all round*.

* Disclaimer – the two riders with broken collarbones, the one with suspected broken ribs and the one with the shredded knee are probably not so happy. Those with scrapes, bumps and grazes would fit into the happy category.