Eleven Wise Monkeys

The worlds best ice cream.

Posted on June 26, 2014 by Saddlesaws

Many, but not all, countries make ice cream of one kind or another. I don’t know about you, but when I think of ice cream from the top drawer, I naturally think of Italy. This is probably thanks to all the “Italian” ice cream shops with their shiny trays behind a curved glass counter, with labels identifying exotic flavours. Sometimes the labels are even usefully aligned to the trays.

But now I know better…. it’s here. In Switzerland. Where I have been privileged to enjoy not just the ice cream but also the hospitality of Andy Kessler, as well as his bike and his routes around Basel. Having lived and cycled in the area for 32 years he knows the trails like the back of his hand.

Andy is one half of Open Cycles. The other is Gerald Vroomen (yes, of Cervélo fame) and their first production mountain bike is the rather special Open 0-1.0. A soft-hardtail which sounds weird until you ride one. Then it makes sense. And we were riding near the Schwarzee (lake), where we managed 1500m of ascent in just 36km of spectacular trail.

Turns out Andy also likes a particular ice cream.

Having made a comprehensive study (*) I can say with some authority that ice cream started way back before refrigeration. Prior to 400BC in fact. The Persians tossed some apple juice over some snow and called it ice cream. Well, maybe they didn’t actually call it ice cream, but they got the (snow)ball rolling.

Before freezers, it was a tough job to, well, freeze stuff so only the rich (it always start with the rich doesn’t it?) could stockpile ice, or import it from colder parts, to impress their friends with ice cream in the warmer summer months. Soon the Arabs improved the recipe by using milk instead of water. And of course there is a theory that the Chinese actually did it all first anyway (isn’t there always). In those days, contrary to the modern experience, Europeans ripped-off Chinese products and it is thought that Marco Polo brought the Chinese technology to Italy where ice cream boomed.

By the 1700’s it reaches England and by the 1800’s started to become affordable to the non-rich (poor?). Still no freezers though. A mid 1800’s cookery book by Agnes Marshall advocated the use of liquid nitrogen to freeze the mixture (hectic) – which is still sometimes used today as freezing cryogenically makes for the smallest ice crystals and thus the smoothest ice cream. But probably no longer in homes!

Eventually post the 1950’s ice cream became more popular worldwide thanks to the now common place – drum roll please – refrigeration.

Meanwhile in Switzerland the worlds best ice cream was being sneakily created. Starting in the 1950’s, having waited for refrigeration crafty Swiss chefs started a tradition of fine ice cream that culminated in the Swiss brand Mövenpick. You can also spell it Moevenpick if you don’t have an iDevice that can easily ådd wèîrd and ìintērêstįng glyphs to letters.

The worlds best ice cream.
As eaten at Andy’s house.

If you don’t agree with me, you probably haven’t tried it.

Footnote
America contributed by inventing the soda float (fizzy drink with a blob of ice cream – think Coke float). Typical. Their famous Ben & Jerry’s brand demonstrates the American penchant for going OTT calorie wise with their Chubby Hubby consisting of vanilla malt ice cream swirled with fudge and peanut butter, and containing pretzel nuggets covered in fudge and filled with peanut butter. Imagine spooning that straight from the tub when you feel depressed. Ew.
_______________
(*) I Googled it.

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The hills are alive…. (*)

Posted on June 20, 2014 by Saddlesaws

Austria is beautiful. I realise I mentioned this before, but the scenery has just got better and better as we have progressed westwards. Quite spectacular.

And, sadly, it’s become wetter too. It’s decidedly damp this morning and the satellite pictures show heavy showers all along our planned route. Six hours in the rain over roads slick with oily deposits? No thanks. So, citing safety as the main reason, we opted (wimped??) out and as I write, are cosy and warm on a train from Attnang to Salzburg and on to Pittenhart. When it is dryer outside, we feel guilty but then as the rain streams down the windows – vindication! We have promised ourselves we will go out for a solid ride when we get there. Yeah, yeah. Whatever!

It does give an opportunity to give some thought to the past two stages. Which just wasn’t possible in the day. Late arrival, logistical issues with the luggage and general malaise getting in the way.

Klosterneuberg to Wieselburg

On the banks of the Danube with Jakes

Berries abound! Clearly a regional speciality, there are fields (very neat of course) under various berries and cherry trees casually dotted in gardens. Strawberries, cherries, raspberries, mulberries. Pick your own or stop at a stall and buy some. Delicious.

After a long day we again found our luggage was delayed and only arrived about 7pm. Fortunately the weather has been good (at least until today) so sitting around waiting is not too much of a hardship.

Wieselburg to Attnang

The big day. 191km with 2500m of climbing. There was one longish climb (8km, 8.5% average) but mostly it was like being surprised by a Suikerbossie or Glen leg buster around each bend. We crossed lines of hills (many), followed the valleys alongside rivers (not enough) and through small villages (some just a few houses). Sometimes with the stream (fast going) and sometimes contra-flow (rather slower!).

These are the hills that Julie Andrews immortalized in the Sound Of Music. It was a religious public holiday and in many villages were out in full processions, following behind brass bands heading to church services. Mostly on hilltops so the bells rang out across the valleys around. Picturesque indeed and I would have really enjoyed it more had I not busted a gut to get up to said hilltop.

Albert (Julie Andrews) Finsterwalder

Ended up riding for 7h30 which was less that expected. With an hour stop for a good lunch in Styer, we arrived at about 5.30pm and our luggage was there to greet us!

(*)
….with the sound of the blood rushing through my ears and exploding out through my eye sockets! Sucks to you Julie. Tell the truth next time! Your hills may me nice to frolic over singing a merry tune, but they are tough going on a bike!

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Four Yorkshiremen alive and well and working in Austria

Posted on June 17, 2014 by Saddlesaws

Today we started by crossing the Danube. Um, that was yesterday wasn’t it? No, it was definitely today. We crossed the Danube yet again at the very start of the ride, leaving Bratislava and Slovakia in general behind us.

This is day 3, country 3. It’s remarkable how different the countries have been. Slovakia certainly seems the most run down, with the countryside tangled and the roads decaying. Hungary sits comfortably in the middle, but Austria. Ah, Austria. Land beloved by cyclists far and wide, with pristine countrysides, neat homes, manicured gardens and roads maintained by Monty Pythons four Yorkshiremen. I had always imagined that the comedy sketch was set in, well, Yorkshire. But it’s here in Austria where they get up half an hour before going to bed, eat a handful of cold gravel and clean the road on the way to the mill – wi’ tongue! And pay mill owner (read the roads dept) for the privilege of working there.

Indeed, the roads are as if the have been carefully laid, nurtured and tended lovingly, just waiting for a cyclist to come along. Cyclist love good tar. And we had it in abundance. From the super smooth darkest black (almost slick) though the coarser looking but still smooth dark grey that is preferred for lower traffic areas (see below – lovely stuff, and low traffic is a bonus) down through to the utilitarian lighter grey but still smooth chosen for busier and wider roads.

Looks rough, but it’s beautiful!

To give you a sense of just how important road surfaces are to us cyclists, I refer you to a scientific paper on the effect of road surface on cycling comfort. Yes, it has been studied, and there is complicated math and all.

At one point our GPS track seemed a bit convoluted so we stopped to ask the local road planning department for directions. They said to continue and trust the GPS and to stop being so soft. They were hard men indeed.

Then into eastern Vienna, up through the nether regions of Vienna, and back out the western side to enjoy some moderate climbs in the surrounding hills. Great cycling.

And on to our overnight spot – Klosterneuberg. Not on the banks of the Danube, but where mosquitos are certainly plentiful and tenacious. The town is famous for a 900 year old monastery which, like the roads, is in impeccable condition. Restored of course, but still, the Yorkshiremen had clearly paid a visit!

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Across the Danube

Posted on June 16, 2014 by Saddlesaws

We enjoyed a traditional Hungarian meal last night. Well, it was at least prepared by a traditional Hungarian. Certainly the goulash soup seem authentic and really good. The chicken “Gordon” Bleu perhaps less authentic but still really good.

Seems that the Ramsey school of cookery is being honored in this dish which more usually found on menus as “Cordon Bleu”. Fortunately is was served without swearing, which points away from Gordon Ramsey influence.

Which leads neatly to the language challenge. Hungarian is unintelligible to me. In Germany I can order a meal and vaguely follow a conversation. In France I have a better than even chance of not getting lost. In Hungary, nothing.

Chicken translates as csirke. Which I found using Google translate. Soup is leves. But then, worryingly, Google also offers it as a verb – doppingol. To soup? I have souped? I suppose you could soup up an engine. Mmmm.

On the stroll back to the hotel – just 150m – we were mistaken for mosquitos or other undesirables and were sprayed – by a biplane!. Hard to believe that they allow chemical spraying over the city. Never mind the low level flight danger to citizens.

So we left the delightful Hotel Forras and the even more delightful Aníkà at around 8.15 and left Hungary at 8.17, crossing the Danube to Slovakia.

I won’t say much about the cycling. It was 173km, flat and fast. Awesome day on the bike.

Jakes in a Slovakian forest.

After superb cycling we arrived on the outskirts of Bratislava. And sadly, as usual we were guided by the GPS track through the colon, small and large intestine of the city. I guess that they try to choose this to avoid the congestion of the more beautiful tourist routes, but having to contend with trucks, busses and bad roads is not great either. Just ugly.

And then, surprise follows surprise – our bags were not here. And at the time of writing – 7pm – still in cycle kit. Gross.

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Thank you for your come

Posted on June 15, 2014 by Saddlesaws

Have you ever felt that your life is a stuck record? No? Well neither have I really, but you must admit that one does sometimes experience a good old déjà vu moment.

So I am back in Europe to participate in another GBI event. I won’t go I to the detail again – you can get it at GBI 2012. But that is not the rerun. Again this time Edvard Munch made his presence felt. Remember I was last seen proudly wearing that I ❤️ T3 cap – living in the Terminal 3 moment? Well my bike wasn’t. When I arrived at Budapest International I received an email from British Airways which casually announced that “one of your checked baggage did not travel with you today”. Of course – it was my bike. That errant machine clearly managed yet again to give the dedicated baggage herders at Heathrow the slipand was hiding out out in the baggage retrieval system – somewhere between terminal 5 and terminal 3 – playing pranks and generally wreaking havoc. So much so, it persuaded about 13 other items to join it’s cause and give their owners a coronary.

Fourteen of us crowded around the lost luggage desk demanding answers. We got them. In Hungarian. Which didn’t help.

Resigned to our fate and hoping against hope that the mischievous items of checked baggage would be spotted, chased down, corralled and without further delay dispatched to Budapest we went our separate ways. I was fortunately not too stressed having been on Edvard’s couch before – which you may have read about at the time, or followed the link above now.

It all worked out and here were are in Komárom having cycled from Budapest – 117km through the Hungarian countryside. It took us about 12km to drop (cyclist speak for riding away from someone) our team leader which left six together 4h30 later at the end.

Albert in Hungary

The outskirts of Komárom

Our leader, Thorsten, at the finish. Not a good look.

And here were are at the Hotel Forras, watered and fed and looking for a bed. All that was standing between us and bed was a few beers. It’s a small place and the receptionist was also the barman (bargirl??) and it seems, all other roles. She seemed to enjoy the hustle and bustle of a busy night with all of us in residence. And she very sweetly thanked us for our come. We knew what she meant.

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Confusions of a solo traveller

Posted on June 14, 2014 by Saddlesaws

I don’t feel lonely. At least not yet anyway. But I am alone. Well sort of. How can one really be alone in the sea of shared human experience that is Heathrow.

This is my first visit to the Terminal 3 outpost. A cosy affair in contrast to its’ more glitzy and glam cousins. So much so that I have opted for the public anonymity of a Starbucks coffee and a seat at the counter rather than the elitist retreat that seasoned travelers like to escape to – the lounge.

I love Brussels has just walked past. Guess she’s been there. Why is she telling me? Should I be impressed? Or perhaps it’s marketing? But wait, I’ve been there – perhaps I should mention it to her?

An elegant lady in an elegant top that reminds her of her trip to NY – but it says Homies, New York. Is she supporting their cause? Or perhaps making a personal anti-establishment statement. Elegantly?

A big guy simply has a T on his chest. Obviously Texas – the font is all cowboy and it’s where everything is bigger – so the body fits. And the bulk is very soft, so that’s in line with the American dream.

No one, absolutely no one has a T shirt that proclaims Heathrow Terminal 3. We aren’t meant to be here – we are meant to be there – we are going somewhere. The majority, like me, are alone. But there are also groups if 2, 3, perhaps 4 bustling in equal confusion. The only ones really engaged with life are the kids. Bouncing and chatting as the move around (non linear of course) with the parents herding them only half effectively. The kids don’t care where they are – the are alive and can move and love the feeling of just being alive – they are in the moment. Jump. Chatter. Run.

The rest of us are nowhere. Trapped between departure and destination. And when we get there we’ll be ok for a while, but soon we’ll we will be on the move to the next destination. Constantly traveling through life. Never living in the moment.

I’ll let you know what I am up to later, but right now I’m off to buy a I ❤️ T3 cap. Which I’ll wear proudly for the next hour!

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Epic Journals – A Spectator’s Point of View by Sarah Walker

Posted on April 10, 2013 by Saddlesaws

April 2013

She’s long and rather wide, serves Nespresso coffee and cold beer, flushes and showers, and has six gears: meet Miss Daisy our wheels for the week! Sunday 17th March had arrived a lot sooner than expected and Team Eleven Wise Monkeys (Derek and Jayson) and physio/slave (I) were leaving Cape Town. The picturesque Prologue of 22km had been completed that morning and we were headed for Citrusdal where Stage 1 of the Cape Epic was to begin the following day.

Given that a few months earlier I had rolled our Fortuner, my nerves were a little on edge driving Miss Daisy out of Cape Town. She takes a while for all of her rear end to pass round a corner and is three metres high so look out for low trees and bridges! Once on the straight N7 I had got the hang of her and could enjoy the ride. Needless to say, the boys were head down checking out all the latest twitter on the Epic and getting psyched for their big week ahead!
It’s 5am Monday morning Stage 1. There’s movement in the camp. I crawled out my comfy tent and stuck my head in the doorway of Miss Daisy. Step 3 of the daily routine for the next 8 days greeted me, chamois prep, lovely! (Stage 1 is food and Stage 2 is the portaloo btw!)

A short walk/run to the Epic Village and we were in Chute B. Spirits were high and EWM were off! Despite not being the one on a saddle and herding over the start line, I had butterflies in my stomach and hoped their day would go well.

Riders went off at 10 minute intervals so there were still a few more groups to go. Back in the Supporters Camp tension was rising as some of the remaining riders were doing last minute bike checks, loo runs and rushing backwards and forwards tent to bike and back to tent. As the last group left and the helicopters rotored away, calmness settled over the village as we all breathed a sigh of relief. Whew. Now to put some order to the chaos left behind. The van usually looks like an elephant lifted it up and gave it a shake, although I must confess the boys are pretty tidy as blokes go. First things first though, a run through Citrusdal..quite a dodgy town mostly. Feeling like the pre Epic stress and rush was slowly leaving me, I headed back and enjoyed some peaceful ‘me’ time, what a treat!

Being Derek, there were gadgets galore on board. I had ‘Endomondo’ on my phone to track the boys and see how close they were to finishing. As the blue line on the map crawled closer to the X marks the spot I packed the cooler box with the requested Chocolate very cold Steri Stumpies and headed with camera in hand to the finish line. Six hours and seven minutes, tenth in Masters and seventy third overall, GO EWM!! Stage One Complete!

Whilst all this was going on, my three trusty physio’s Marcella Carin and Raasay, were getting ready for THEIR long day of putting 25 tired and broken riders back together again. Tannie Antoinette in town had kindly opened her house to Epic Supporters so all three were in one room very cosy indeed! At the Supporters Village gazebos were going up and plinths unfolded; oil, needles and coloured tape laid out. Slowly the warriors arrived, two by two, wounded from a day of sand and more sand. Who said today that 22 out of the 103 km were a run on sand??? Blisters and aching calves were the order of the day. Our tandem team was in the pub celebrating their finish..whaaaat?? By 8pm all were patched and ready for Stage Two.

I was learning quickly to block out generator and bike meachanic chatter during the night and woke up feeling way more rested than the previous day. The morning felt somewhat fresh and the ground very dewy, riders were looking a little shell shocked from a tough Stage 1 the day before. Today was to be a long 145km stage to Tulbagh with much climbing(2350m to be exact). We walked over the main streeet to the Epic Village, many curious locals lining the road, what on earth were these crazy okes doing they must have thought! EWM maintained their B group status, the commentator was revving everyone up, it was 7am and BANG off they went! I spotted a bubbly Sean and Craig excited for their day, may the hills be with you! I too headed for the hills, a much more beautiful run this morning.

Sunrise over Citrusdal

I arrived back at the Support Village and poor Miss Daisy was all alone, everyone had packed up and left already! I thought mayb I’d missed something, what was the rush?? I showered and had my morning cuppa tea then started the pack up process. Steri stumpies and water bottles in freezer to be chilled on the boys’ arrival. My tent was easy, undid the poles and shoved the whole lot in the van’s boot. Gazebo..hmmmm…it takes fine skill to single handedly collapse and fold, I would have it more slick by the end of the week I was sure. Unplug power, tick. Empty shower water tank. Found key and unlocked what I thought was the tank but was the loo tank, wow that was close! Crawled around under the van looking for another tank but alas that would have to wait until Tulbagh. Tables and chairs in. Hatches locked, screens down, main door locked. Ready to go. Oh map, tick. A friendly wave from the security guard and Daisy and I were on our way. Rounding the first corner onto the high way I heard a scraping sliding and a CRASH. Oh S***! What was that?? Cutlery drawers had flown open! So first stop on side of road to lock all the drawers, something to add to the departure list.

En route to Tulbagh the Epic helicopter came into view every now and again, a cloud of dust below from the leading riders. I wonder how everyone was doing? For some of the teams we were physio’ing it was a nail biting race against time to get across the finish line before cutoff. I couldn’t understand why there were so many hours difference between the first and the last teams to cross the line, if I compared the same to running races. Derek explained though that for the riders who couldn’t ride up some sections or down some of the technical downhill sections and ended up walking, it is waaaay slower. Makes sense. Make sure you can handle rock and sand!

Trees lined the road to Saronsberg Wine Estate just outside Tulbagh.

I made it through the strict security and bumped along the path to the Support Village. Darn. Prickly veld and hard clumps of clay How my gonna peg into that ground! I manouvered Miss Daisy’s large butt into the tweeny space we had been allocated, even aimed her two front wheels onto blocks so that Jason and Derek werent sleeping down hill (don’t need blood rushing to their heads!)did a time and endomondo check, and started the setting up process. Plug in power, charge the gadgets, fill water tank, gazebo up and pegged, table and chairs, plinth up, sides up, tent up, make friends with the neighbours(always good to get on with your neighbours), time check, open hatches, sweep out the grass and mud from Citrusdal, pack the coolerbox and head for the finish line.

I had about 15 minutes to go so grabbed a Woollies coffee (I don’t drink much coffee but the Woollies one has me hooked!) and sat in the Chill Zone. Golly whatalotta noise! Music and generators pumping, fans cheering, TV’s blaring, the odd baby screaming and kids going nuts in the Play Zone. Not what I’d call a Chill Zone but was shady at least! As I caught up phone messages and sipped the last sip, Derek and Jayson came pedalling over the finish line in seven hours and six minutes. Oooh very tired and VERY dirty! And very happy to have that long day behind them.

After resting a bit and fetching their cleaned bikes we walked back to the Support Village. It was starting to look like a war village, muddy men lying on plinths that looked like stretcher beds, being attended to by masseurs/physio’s/helpful wives/whoever could do the job!

After sorting out EWM’s tired legs and backs I went over to see how Team Walker Physio were doing. The team’s day was off to a late start and some riders weren’t going to make their physio sessions, either too tired to walk to the Support Village or still on their bikes! There had been a lot of climbing, some amazing Cedarberg rock formations and a crazy steep and rocky downhill dash to the finish. Greg had had a less crampy day but a nasty saddle sore is starting to fester, and our tandem team made it through Stage two by the skin of their teeth – yeehaa!

The Epic Village is looking quite snug set against the mountains on this gorgeous morning of Stage Three.

Today is promised to be easier than yesterday, a mere 94km; a day to ‘spin the legs and recover’ says Katie the Race Organiser. Yeah right, why should we believe that, it is the EPIC after all! Jayson’s face said it all when I met them about six hours later at the finish. No power in these legs today he said. Hectic hills and awesome downhills, but still a lot of hard pedalling! I was realising by now that this race really was tough and it takes seriaas team work. If Jayson was struggling then others must be having a REALLY tough time!

While Stage Three was in full swing, I had my own taste of the hills and ran up and up until I could no more, with a great view of the Epic Village far down below. Maybe next time I should try it by bike!

The Afternoon’s activities: Jayson powering up for tomorrow and our tandem team made it for their massage! Sad news though was that Sean got stung by a bee and being extremely allergic nearly didn’t make it, was rushed to hospital and is in ICU. So our thoughts are with ya dude. And Craig too, not fun riding on your own!

By the morning of Stage Four Derek and Jayson were looking ready. It was pack up time again, heading for Wellington. My packing routine was pretty slick by now and I got to the first spectator point in time to see the leaders race passed and EWM not too far behind! I watched Derek at the water point. He was like a machine! Dashing from one table to the next, refuelling at such a pace I wondered how on earth do they keep this up for the day?! I thought a water point was a place of rest, take a breath, eat n drink, and admire the view. Alas not! They were out of there in literally 30 seconds. I felt quite exhausted just being a spectator!

The road to Wellington was lined with campervans, microbuses, bike trailers and fancy 4×4’s filled with wives and tiny kids. The riders were mostly men (c’mon ladies!) with an average age of 37, and so the average supporter was a 30 something wife/partner with toddlers in tow and /or one on the way! The partner’s job of supporter was one to be respected; a lot of admin, patience and multi-tasking went on behind the scenes. And then to be at the finish line each day with a big proud smile 

I got to the Wellington Cricket grounds in good time, lovely flat green grass and tons of electricity plus friendly neighbours, bonus. Derek’s family were coming to visit today. I found Laura in the crazy Kids’ Zone and all the family dutifully lined up to cheer the boys in. Six hours and seven minutes here they come! Eeuwww dirty and smelly. But they appreciated the hugs from loved ones SO much. The kids LOVED checking out the camper, choosing a special drink from dad’s fridge, lying on his bed and testing out the massage plinth. So it was well worth all your efforts Laura 😉

The afternoon was spent with a few trips to the local dodgy Laundromat, the corner shop in search of Rennies for Jayson, pizza for Derek and of course my main job of getting some tired legs ready for the 75km tomorrow. I wish I had had my camera on me, but watching Derek literally devour his pizza this afternoon was quite an incredible sight! He managed to leave a slither for Jayson, which then got Jayson ordering another, and more for the Physio Team, AND the Olympic bike mechanics. I think the Perfect Pizza shop had never had such a busy day. In fact we were back there for supper; Jayson had a craving for ribs. Alas they did not live up to his expectations, just a disgruntled tummy the next day!

The 75km route in the mountains surrounding Wellington was a shorter 5 hour day but still tough. Jayson had been struggling to get the ‘eat now for later’ rule right but today had had better results. Our afternoon was busy again with eating more pizza, sorting out the bikes, massaging legs that were really looking good for Day 5! And blogging. I haven’t mentioned blogging yet..I am learning more each day but the boys must spend literally hours each day writing and sorting pics and face booking. Oh and we got the TV in the van working so could watch a movie. Guess which one? A mountain biking movie of course, daahh! It was actually really good, had me on the edge of my seat, there are some crazy downhill bikers out there!

Right. Day Seven. Stage Six. (Always confuses me why they don’t include the Prologue on Day One as Stage One..) A surprise for the boys was waiting at the start; Ashley and Michael were there, sleepy eyed but excited to see their dad off! Jakes‘familiar friendly face was there too, and Mr van Zyl, both off for a day’s ride after seeing the riders disappear over the start line. Packing time again, wow the days were flying by. It was a special day for me too; MY family were coming to visit today! So me n Miss Daisy trundled onto the road leading to Stellenbosch. I cranked the music up and enjoyed the ride.

I wasn’t expecting to arrive quite so early so woke my friends up in Somerset West for an early morning cuppa tea. Steph popped down to the shops with me (a lot easier in a normal sized car) and I got the shopping list done, we had run out of chocolate Stery stumpies, they are not easy to find! Some more antacids for Jayson, some goodies for my kids, and back to Stellenbosch. The setting up process was a little tricky. We were packed in like sardines, the wind was howling and I bent most of my pegs trying to bang them into the rock-hard ground. The bonus this time was that the riders rode right passed us towards the finish so we could see them coming in. It was the second last day, so I was thinking imagine if something should happen to the boys today of all days. Man that would be horrendous! But whew no they arrived pretty much as scheduled, all in one piece and happy to have the day behind them. And look who else arrived! Was so great to see the kids and Richard, I was missing them by now. Weird how the kids look different when you haven’t seen them for a few days. So we had to have a celebratory podium shot of course


There were some smiles coming from the Physio Tent, only one day to go! The update on Sean was that he was still in hospital and Craig was riding on his own but not having much fun . Greg’s saddle sore had ended up with a really serious infection (I won’t go into too much detail but it must have been agony!) and he too was at the hospital having it seen to. Tandem Team were still in, Donald’s shoulder was still hanging in there and so were the hard-working team Marcella Carin and Raasay! Jayson and Derek decided it was time to celebrate so we had supper at the Spur, those burgers tasted Oh sooo good, and the wine of course. Cheers to a great week and one day to go!

Ok so last night I was clearly not meant to sleep! I spent the night holding my tent down, the wind was angry. I was quite grumpy so got up at 6 and headed for the place where I feel happy, the mountain . Feeling somewhat revived I got back to Miss Daisy whose occupants were ready, well Derek was tapping his foot and Jayson was uuuhhh not sure, possibly staring at the inside of the door of a portaloo. Quick shower, and off to the start line for the very last time. Mixed feelings. Last day, but oh no it IS the last day. What next? The Epic can’t be over?! The Epic Village was buzzing with activity. The waiters who worked in the marquees were doing a Goodbye dance, the music and commentator had had an extra cup of coffee that morning, loads of supporters were lining the chutes and photographers were clicking away excitedly. The famous ‘Don’t you worry Don’t you worry now’ song was on and Bang! time to go!

And time for me to go too! I legged it back to the van, packed up, really just shoved everything in and drove Miss Daisy out that village like a crazy lady. The traffic getting in to the finish at Lourensford was going to be a mess, so the sooner I got there the better. As I got into Somerset West and turned up towards Lourensford the cars came to a grinding halt. Darn. Too late! Oh well I could only hope I got there in time. I had about an hour till EWM were planning on crossing that final finish line. I and Miss Daisy CRAWLED along. A toddler could have toddled there quicker! The petrol light was flashing so detour to the garage and back in the queue. Ok now I was thinking maybe I should park on the pavement and run to the finish. This was taking foreverrrrr. The helicopters were circling. Well that meant that the leaders were only just coming through. Shuweee. I still had time. Finally the line moved, I roared through the gates, dodged the low hanging trees and waved the special sticker that Jayson had given me that morning and parked Miss Daisy’s beautiful butt on the beautifl lush Lourensford lawn!

What a lovely place to finish!

With cooler box in hand I sprinted across the field towards that famous yellow Epic archway, dodging kids and grannies, thinking please please do not let me miss them. Well I got there just in time to see the leaders cross the line..omw I made it. I stood mesmerising the finish line for a few brief moments to catch my breath, then feeling quite happy with myself for not being late (I have an awful habit of being late for most things) I found a gap in the crowd and stood ready with camera to take that final shot. I took many photos until the one I wanted came into view! Woohoooooo EWM had arrived. I was so proud of them!

After a shower and a picnic we headed home to Cape Town. I was looking forward to seeing my family, sleeping in a proper bed and sitting on a proper loo! Thank you to Derek and Jayson for being gentlemen even when you were tired, and to my family for letting me have a week off! I will finish this week saying that the Epic has finally made it onto my Bucket List, now for a bike and a good sponsor 

Memoirs from Epic 2013:
*sound – generators and spinning wheels
*Song – Don’t You Worry Child and Ho Hey! by the Lumineers
*Beverage – chocolate Stery Stumpy
*Food – Woolworths chicken wrap
*Smell – Jayson’s cycling shoes
*Gadget – Derek’s nifty car phone charger
*words – 29’er, soft tail, derailleur, mechanical, bonk, blog

Sarah Walker
Physio

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Marry me? Er, and my bike!

Posted on March 26, 2013 by Saddlesaws

About 48 hours after finishing the “Tour de France of Mountain Biking” I am at 10,000m moving along at around 850kph. The seat is comfortable and there is even a little fold out table to prop up the iPad as I type. The Lumineers are loud in my ears having become a sort of unofficial musical backtrack in the camper over the last days of the Cape Epic. The demands on a working man are back and I am bowing to them, heading up to Joburg for the day.

As we lifted off from Cape Town International the horizon behind the Helderberg mountains was glowing as the earth turned lazily toward the sun. The very same mountains that we had battled against on Stage 7 of the Cape Epic looked stunning in crisp silhouette against the deep purple sky.

The final departure out of Stellenbosch on Sunday was a rather a spectacle. A stunt plane looping overhead marking trails across the blue sky, three helicopters jockeying for the best shot of the surviving teams lining up as the crowds marked the railings of the start chutes. Who would get priority? The photographer? The sponsor? Or the live TV broadcast?!

The final countdown….

Nestled between the horseshoe arms of the mountains surrounding Stellenbosch the way out was up. No surprise there! But it was up for half the day’s mileage. So we dutifully climbed for around 29km towards the saddle between the Helderberg and Hottentots Holland mountains along a spectacular rough mountain pass. With a classic Dr Evil twist. Most mountain passes aim to crest at the lowest possible point – the saddle. Just ask Thomas Baines or John Montague. But not so for this beast. As we rounded a shoulder, I exclaimed to Jayson that we were already higher than the saddle and was fully expecting to head straight down to it and on to the finish the Lourensford finish last. “No ways mate, look at that string of riders way above us!” was the dispiriting rejoinder. So we slogged up another couple of 100m until we could descend toward the saddle. Again, superlative views for the couple of seconds I could lift my eyes but mainly I was focussed on the inviting farm road descents stretching out below for the other half of the day’s distance.

It’s all downhill from here… not!

It goes without saying that it wasn’t all downhill from there, but with the juicy carrot of the finish line dangling tantalizingly within our grasp, the occasional short but challenging ups were dispatched without the usual disgust reserved for nasty surprises in the last gasps of a stage. And then, somewhat surprisingly, we were there. Really there. On the grass, between the barriers with the loud cheering and applause from the huge crowd welcoming us we raced over the final finish line of the 2013 Cape Epic. Africa’s Magical, Untamed Mountain Bike Race.

Really, really there!

There was the full gamut of emotion around us – exhaustion, tears of relief, tears of joy, smiles, whoops of delight and two marriage proposals. Mmm, what would have happened if they had not made the finish for some reason?

Marry me. Er, and my bike…..

Up onto the stage to receive our ~~winners~~ finishers medals and then we were surprised to be sent through the Amabubesi chute to collect our three times finisher’s medal. I hadn’t at all remembered that for both Jayson and I this race would be the third Epic for both of us. Although it was our first Epic together, it was also our third long stage race together (the others being the inaugural Joberg2C over 9 days and the 7 day Terra Australis in Victoria, Southern Australia) so it was kind of a fitting end!

One rider claimed to have conquered the Epic. I would have to disagree. Similar to my experience on big mountains, you sneak up quietly and get the job done, hoping the tiger doesn’t turn around and find you holding it’s tail. About 150 riders didn’t escape at all, and many others survived through sheer tenacity. Yolande Speedy (who took the ladies race with Catherine Williamson) crossed the line with a broken collarbone and two broken ribs. How??

Spare a thought for Andre Hoekstra. Entered the Cape Epic in 2008 only to break his collarbone the week before, colliding with a runaway pram (no baby) near Noordhoek while racing the Argus and so didn’t even make the start line.

Five years later he enters the 2013 Epic to give it another go and ends up breaking his same collarbone in a road race (not the Argus) three weeks before the Cape Epic. The doc whipped out the old plate and popped in a new one so against the odds it looked like he would still make the start line! Until on his final training ride in Tokai forest, just two days before the prologue, the tiger whipped around and took out two ribs and that, as they say, was that.

The say a change is as good as a rest so on Monday…..

And finally……
(With sincere apologies to The Lumineers)

Ho, Hey, Ho, Hey
I been trying to do it right, I’ve been living a lonely life,
I’ve been sleeping here instead, of sleeping in my bed, biking’s in my head

Ho, Hey, Ho, Hey
So show me family, all the blood that I will bleed
They will know if I went wrong, I will know when I go wrong, ridin’ for so long
I belong to you, you belong to me, we’re pedaling hard
I belong to you, you belong to me, we’re pedaling….

Ho, Hey, Ho, Hey
I don’t think you’re right for him, look at where we just have been
You were made in Chinatown, now we’re ridin’ up and down
An’ all around, she’d be rockin’ under me
I belong to you, you belong to me, we’re pedaling hard
I belong to you, you belong to me, we’re pedaling hard

Free… wheeling… down the hill. Let’s ride… awesome…
So, where’ve we been now?
I belong to you, you belong to me, we’re pedaling hard
I belong to you, you belong to me, we’re pedaling …. hard!

Ho, Hey, Ho, Hey
Hey!

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This game of shadows

Posted on March 23, 2013 by Saddlesaws

Bike racing is not as straightforward as the casual spectator may think. Road bike racing is tactically an incredibly complicated team sport – even the individual time trial, believe it or not. Mountain biking is perhaps a little more straightforward where sheer strength and bike handling skills play more of a role. But where we are riding there are shadows of bike racing hovering all the time. And you need to deal with them. Constantly.

Just preparing for the day and getting to your bike without forgetting your helmet or gloves can be a challenge. At the Prologue (when was that?!?) we parked next to a team that was 2nd off the line. About 30 minutes to go, one guy says, “I’m not joking – I have left my helmet behind”. His partner, “You are kidding, right?” “Er, No!”

Then their is the weather. Only your basic kit, or armwarmers too. Perhaps a gillet (“jeelay” – sleeveless wind vest). Or even a raincoat? Fortune smiled on us though this this year and the weather has been exceptional. No rain, little to no wind. And, arguably, not overly hot either.

What do take along for to eat? How many gels (gooey energy sachets), how many bike bars. Do I need two our four sachets of energy drink powder to top up at the water stops. What if I miscalculate, or just forget to feed the machine? Will I avoid the shadowy bonk and be able to ride strongly to the finish?

Have I got all my spares that may be necessary for running repairs. Puncture repair “plugs”, muti-tool, tyre levers, spare tube, pump, spare chain links. Should I take a patch kit to use once I have had to put the tube in? Which of these shadows will cross my path today?

Not all problems can be fixed on the go!

Don’t forget the phone for emergencies. Is it charged? This year I have been using Endomondo to update our track in real time on the web so that Sarah can follow where we are and see more or less when we are approaching the end. Provided there is coverage this is an amazing free service. Back home it also allows me to be tracked on the bike as I train mostly alone. And mostly don’t know exactly where I will be when in case of need.

What we fit into those tight jersey pockets. Without warm or rain gear!

On stage 3, we headed out of Tulbagh on open roads. You are afraid of being dropped, of riding alone without a group to help break the wind. It means the difference between averaging over 30kph as against less than 25kph. A major difference. But to stay with the group can be really hard work. You start pleading with the shadow as it looms large, the groups thinning out, splintering and re-grouping. Just. A. Little. More. Please. I. Can. Do. This.

Spot the chap not in the race

Where is Jayson? I’m sure he was just behind me a minute ago? Did he slip past without me noticing? Should I wait up or should I ride ahead to find him? What if he had a problem and had to stop? The doubts flood your mind until, relieved, you spot him it the group. Stage 6 was less tense in this regard as we set out to ride a pace that we could sustain all all the way, and with a rising path for 30km bunch riding was not on the agenda.

See if you can spot Jayson in this group. He is there!

In general the parcours (fancy cycling speak for route) has been spectacular. At least that is what I have been told. But today I managed to experienceit for myself. Riding at a pace that did not require 100% concentration on the effort or the terrain, we soared on the middle slopes of the Du Toits Kloof mountains with views across Paarl to Paarl rock. Once across onto Simonsberg mountain, we wound our way up and up through the vineyards and then even higher, until we could see all the way back to Paarl and ahead to Franschoek. I cannot begin to describe the magnificence of the scene that unfolded around us. But if you do visit Thelema wine estate at the top of Helshoogte pass, and find a little used bricked farm road leading to a private viewpoint, you could reach our highest point and see for yourself.

What can I say…

Down into Idas Valley along the old Helshoogte pass, and then through a 50m drainage pipe under the new pass. Just large enough ride toward the tiny circle of light at the end. With the James Bond theme echoing loudly it felt as though we were part of the opening scenes of a 007 movie speeding along the barrel. All that was missing was silhouettes of naked girls ghosting across the screen. But if you closed your eye’s and squinted…… No, all you see is that damn shadow lurking, waiting.

We were just a little shaken, hardly stirred.

The doubts come flooding. Will my body hold out? Is there an injury lurking that Sarah wouldn’t be able to fix in time for the tomorrow? Can I keep up the concentration to be safe on the fast descent that’s coming down Bothma’s Kop? More importantly, will the other riders around do the same.

And then it was almost over. A super fast descent down a grassy slope into Stellenbosch, across the road and into the school grounds. Job done for today. Despite finishing only 164th today we managed to hang on to 90th place in the General Classification. Will we manage to break a top 100 GC at the end of tomorrow?

All good things come to an end.

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TGIF

Posted on March 22, 2013 by Saddlesaws

The days all blur together and it is really surprising to realize that we just completed the sixth of eight days on the Cape Epic. Friday? Really? Are you sure? Only two days left to go sounds close to the end but there is still quite a bit of riding left to be. Tomorrow in particular is going to be a test as even though it is “only” 96km there will be around 3000 vertical meters of climbing to be done. That is basically from harbour to the top of Table Mountain. Three times!

For those interested in the numbers (and I am not sure there are any), some race data

Prologue, 22.0km 638m 1h11m44s 956Cal

Stage 1, 97.6km 2399m 6h01m17s 3871Cal

Stage 2, 146.0km 2354m 7h01m20s 5588Cal

Stage 3, 95.5km 1873m 5h05m28s 3536Cal

Stage 4, 119.9km 2194m 6h05m15s 4616Cal

Stage 5, 74.8km 1830m 4h07m32s 2917Cal

Now here’s the interesting bit. Total riding time to the end of stage four was just over 24 hours, so about a day. During that time we expended 18,567 Calories. Keeping in mind that a during an average day – work, family, sleep, I expend about 1950 calories, so riding the Epic uses up energy at about 10 times the normal rate! And you have to get that back by eating. A lot. Plus of course you need to be hydrated which means roughly 8 to 10 liters of fluid a day. Water, energy drink and coke being the main ones. A medic mentioned to me that they had stocked up on 20% more rehydration bags (saline drips) than last year and that they had exhausted their entire supply by the end of stage 3. And indication of how hot and tough the race has been.

Your body starts to rebel at all the food and liquid you are stuffing into it and you just don’t feel like eating. How irritating that just when you can eat whatever you want to, you kind of can’t really.

So here we are on Friday afternoon after another tough stage (there is no other kind). Only 75km today but with almost 2000m climbing and 22km on single-track there was almost no flat bit at all. And some of the up was steep enough to grind away in “granny” – you easiest gear – for long stretches, which did not feel easy at all! We were fortunate to start at 7am with the front runners, but even we felt the heat in the vineyards on the slopes. Due to possible congestion the start was staggered over an hour and a half with the slowest riders starting when it was already hot. Plus they will be out there for longer. Ain’t going to be pretty.

Along the way we passed the leading ladies attending to a flat tyre. Also notices that Yolande Speedy was bleeding a bit from the elbow area. As they passed us again shortly I chatted to her partner Catherine Williamson. She had both arms swathed in bandages from the previous days, and quipped that Yolande only took the tumble in order to benefit from the attentions of Cathy’s hunky medic. Good teamwork!

Laura and the kids were waiting at the finish again and it was super to see them. Michael was easy to spot!

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Eleven Wise Monkeys

The worlds best ice cream.

The hills are alive…. (*)

Four Yorkshiremen alive and well and working in Austria

Across the Danube

Thank you for your come

Confusions of a solo traveller

Epic Journals – A Spectator’s Point of View by Sarah Walker

Marry me? Er, and my bike!

This game of shadows

TGIF

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